“If you just tried and took me by the hand, we would’ve been happy in love.”
August 2009
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May 2011
yun lang ba talaga ako?
Friday, October 29, 2010 || Friday, October 29, 2010
Isang laruan? Laruan na tinatabi at iniiwan sa isang sulok pag ayaw mo na, pag pagod ka na? At pagkatapos naman, babalik ka kung kailan mo gusto at kung kailan tapos ka nang magpakasaya?
Mahal kita.. pero talaga, ang gago mo na.
Pero wala na akong magagawa, hindi ko rin madidiktahan ang puso ko kasi ikaw lang talaga ang pinili nito.
green monster
Wednesday, October 27, 2010 || Wednesday, October 27, 2010
The thought of being replaced so easily?
It crushes me into pieces.
But it's no wonder anyway; she's really pretty, she's a cheerdancer, she's so girly, she's probably nice, she's probably better than me in so many ways. And maybe, just maybe.. she has all the things he wants in a girl.
But I guess I can't lie to myself or to anyone, maybe some will think I'm too emotional or maybe even wanting too much attention or sympathy... but my blog is the only place where I can let it all out; no one really reads it anyway.
And it will always hurt. You know, that kind of pain that pierces your heart, that kind of pain that gobbles up your view on reality, that kind of pain that makes you want to punch a wall, that kind of pain that makes it so hard to breathe. Yes.. that kind of pain.
He's showing me that he can go on with his life like nothing bad ever happened to us. He's showing me that he can throw away his memories of me like it's nothing, because I don't know if I did mean something to him. I would never know.
heartbreak
|| Wednesday, October 27, 2010
I believe there is a limit to how much a heart could take.
And I realized how true that is because right now. I can't take it anymore. Everything is all going wrong. I don't know how to pick up the pieces anymore. I don't know what to do.
I feel so alone. I feel like I'm being replaced. I feel like its all falling apart. I feel like I'm losing it. I feel so undeniably hurt.
Lord, I need you now.
trampled heart
|| Wednesday, October 27, 2010
My ex (not the guy I'm totally in love with) told me this:
"He actually doesnt want to be with you anymore... well, hindi nmn sa ayaw. Sabi nya, ang hirap daw tlaga. Hindi daw tlaga masolusyunan ang problems nyo."
Ay puta. HINDI BA? Talaga lang ah. Eh kung itry kaya natin ayusin? Tinatry ko naman ee. PUTANG INA. Lahat na kasi ee. Nung narealize ko gaano kahirap na wala ka, narealize ko lahat ng mali ko. Narealize ko na I had to change. Narealize ko naman na kaya natin to ayusin ee. BUT YOU NEVER GAVE ME THE CHANCE. That's what hurts the most. Don't you think it's unfair that i gave you another chance?
This is fucking heartbreak all over again.
Ikaw kasi
Monday, October 25, 2010 || Monday, October 25, 2010
Mahigit isang linggo na ang nakalipas. Di pa rin ako makamove on. Kahit anong gawin ko. Ang sakit pa rin. Ang sakit-sakit pa rin. At mas mabigat pa? Alam ko... kaya ko'ng itapon yung pride ko para sa kanya. At kung makikipagbalikan siya, papayag ako. Dahil alam ko na hindi ko naman kaya na wala siya.
Ba't ba kasi ikaw?! Pwede naman yung ibang tao dyan, yung mas nagmamahal sa akin. BA'T KASI IKAW PA NA HINDI SIGURADO. :(
Mahal pa rin kita kahit iba ang sabi ng isipan ko.
disaster
Saturday, October 16, 2010 || Saturday, October 16, 2010
Para sa akin...
LOVE HAS NO LIMITATIONS.
LOVE IS SACRIFICE.
LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL.
Kung ang gusto niya ay oras, bigyan mo. Kung gusto niya space, bigyan mo. Kung hindi na niya kaya, hayaan mo. Kung hindi niya na gusto, wag nang ipilit pa. Kasi, kung totoong mahal mo siya, kahit masakit magpaalam...iiwan mo siya kung ang pagsasama niyo ay nakakasakit na sa inyong dalawa.
Pero ang sakit parin talaga ee. Kahit ilang araw ang dadaan, siya parin kasi. Siya parin yung gusto ko'ng makasama. Siya parin yung gusto ko'ng mahagkan. Siya parin gusto ko'ng mahalin. Siya parin talaga kahit anong sabihin ng utak ko.
Kahit sabihin ko pa'ng hindi na ako iiyak, luluha parin ako. At ang sakit isipin, na hindi talaga kami para sa isa't-isa. Pero hindi ko din mapigilan sarili ko, nag-eexpect parin hanggang ngayon. Tumatawa kahit hindi gusto. Ngumingiti kahit ang hirap gawin.
Hindi magiging madaling kalimutan siya...o di kayay hindi ko talaga siya makakalimutan. Makakahanap ako ng iba, oo. Yung papalit sa pwesto niya. Yung taong nandyan sa oras na kailangan ko ng masasandalan. Yung taong magpapasaya sa akin sa oras na kailangan ko nang ngumiti. Yung taong mas makaka-appreciate sa akin. Yung taong matatanggap kung ano ako. Yung taong hahabulin ako pag aalis ako. At yung taong hindi ako kayang pakawalan. At sana siya rin ay mahalin ko. Pero kahit yun pa ang dumating, masasaktan ko din siya. Dahil sa totoo lang? Hindi sila ang gusto ko kundi SIYA.
Siya parin. Siya palagi. Siya lang talaga.
fourteen
Friday, October 15, 2010 || Friday, October 15, 2010
October 14, 2010.
6:24 pm, FSUU Canteen.
We talked, well......... I talked. And we ended things. I ended the fights. I ended the hurt. I ended the misunderstanding. I ended the whirlwind. I ended the lies. I ended the confusion. And he ended us.
I got up from that cursed blue seat, and ran away... I hoped he would follow. But he didn't. I really, really wanted him to follow me but he didn't. I went to this corner and tried to call his bestfriend. He didn't pick up. But minutes later, his bestfriend and his girlfriend were there in front me. I couldn't breathe. I was falling apart. I was crying so much. I broke down. Punching the walls, hitting my head against it.. I was numb. Tears showered down, fists clenched, I was dying.
Right then and there, I just realized how much I really did love him.