“If you just tried and took me by the hand, we would’ve been happy in love.”

August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 May 2011

...was a freaking blast--NOT. :))

Just joking, well if you were part in a game it would've been fun...pero kung tambay ka lang, well. Masaya naman matulog diba? Imma divide this post into three parts, Late afternoon Preparation, Day 1 & Day 2.


Commencing the late afternoon preparation. We all highschool students went down for practices; well, me and my fellow jeffersonians were the first to arrive. Me, Elaine, MK, Jessica F., Lois and some other people made noise. Nagpapahiya ng sarili, period. Couple of minutes later, we were all complete. Before going to MMC1 for the reservation thing, Sir ER told me to go behind the Sanctuary for some art blah. Went up...went down a half hour later. Ran to the place Sir ER told me to go and voila, we had to paint some huge banner and stuff. Quickly proceeded to paint like the others. I was lonely....yeah. So, my brilliant mind came up with an idea to call for Katrina so that she could drown with me in misery. Then came said person and afterwards...we painted and painted and painted. Boom! The much-loved wind almost successfully blew up our banner and the upper left side which had Sir Amiel's name on it was destroyed...paint fell over and well. So, we all did everything to beautify the banner but it still looked all amateur-ish. Went home at 6:30.



The morning started well off, woke up early then did the usual; oh and I wore long socks :). I went to school with Kuya Carlos, Stephen, Katrina and other buspayb peeps; we were laughing and laughing and laughing. So yeah, we all arrived in one piece. May nagparinig at may natamaan, aye? Haha. Anyhoo, fastword nung umupo lahat ng highschool students sa may open court, by year. Still, I thought team C's color sucked. Green and yellow: blech. Nagparade sa loob ng SSI, corny much? Thennn, went inside the gym. Cheerdance competition thereafter. First off to perform are the seniors, then the sophomores, the freshmen, last one up are the Juniors; correct me if I'm wrong though, my memory's not that good. Anyhoo, the next few hours were boring. Nothing left to do but sleep, sit, walk, take pictures, walk, sit, and sleep; others had better things to do (a.k.a play). Oh, and I watched the basketball and volleyball games. It was a bit fun. Spent time with MG, Katrina, Debbie, Gabs, Hazela, Jessica V and other peeps; talked much, took pictures with them and stuff. Ate with Adi and Karisthea, along with Bes.

By the way, the results of the Cheerdance was....*Dumdumdum*

3rd Runner-up : Sophies
2nd Runner-up : Seniors
1st Runner-up : Freshmen
Champion : Juniors

Nothing else happened of that importance. Let's move on to the next and last part.



Woke up rather late, or the bus just came way too early: 6 in the morning. Well, haha. 'Nyways. Came to school wearing a cute brown shirt and team C's intrams shorts and long socks. Arrived at the gym, played UNO with Vicky, Lois, MK, Elaine and etc. Slept. Ate. Walked. Watched the basketball games, and slept again. >:/ Twist though, nahuli ako. OR RATHER! May nagsumbong sa akin. Yap, you got it there, I brought my so-loved sexy Chesire (iTouch), copied the naming thing from my beshu, Kat. Some f/cking gay betch told on me, and I HAVE PROOF! SO yeah, I was pissed like hell. But anyways. I was depressed, I love my baby, you know! I wanted to slap that metherfecker's face off. Anyhoo, nothing much happened afterwards besides my revenge planning.

BUT! Good news!!! Overall Champion?

FRIGGIN TEAM C! So let us all share cookies and hug! ;)

Well, the intrams was fun, and kinda exciting. Memorableee enough.


I told you not to wait.

I'm doing this to spare you the pain, but you won't listen. You'll just get hurt over and over again if you won't let me go. :C

And I don't want that.

But please, you're making me look bad. So fucking bad :/


I'm not forcing you, and I know I can't control your feelings. But all I want for now is your acceptance. That's it. Nothing more.

I know, no one's gonna love me like you do, but my life is spinning so fast at present that my priorities are all jumbled up. I don't know what's important anymore, and procrastination loves to stick on me.

I'm so sorry. D:

I just finished reading the new chapters of "Bokura Ga Ita", and boy, the story just got more intense.

Well, I'm in awe at how strong Nanami's love for Yano is because she still believed and put into her heart and mind (after all these years) that one day... he'll return to her and they will have their much awaited happy ending.

However, this manga is a truly and tragically a beautiful tale of two lovers who are always being forced to be pulled apart by faith.

I was disappointed because Yano now lives with Yamamoto because I think she's pregnant or something. But I am also amazed at how he can face the heartbreaking trials that come to him (his mom is in coma) and choosing what's right rather than what he truly wants.

It is an eye-opener, really. I realized that in reality, true love isn't always supposed to be being together and being happy; sometimes we have to be apart because there are a lot more important matters...but despite that, even if you meet after 5 years and can only meet in one day, the love is just still...there. It's hard to explain.. :))

Anyways, just check out the manga. It's really, really, really nice.


It's 4 o' clock am. ;)

And I've finally put my sis to sleep. Like seriously. I had to sing like the same lullaby over and over again. Horribly off-tune. Well. My eyes are red from lack of sleeeeep. Like so much deserved sleep. :O

I can now get some shut eye for a few minutes, then I will prepare for school Aughhh. Exhaustinggg. :/ But hey, a sister's gotta do what a sister's gotta do. You get it, right?


Oh my freaking gosh. It's 3 in the morning and I still haven't slept. I have classes in 4 hours. D: But my little sis is still awake and I have to take care of her, just like any other night...or morning. @_@

I'm sleepy. And hungry. And tired. :/

U, I'm probably gonna fall asleep during Math again. :| Oh God help me. I'm not gonna survive another week. Augh.



Once upon a time, there was she; she who would never let anyone frown, she whose smile never faded, she who was carefree, she who was happy.

But she would be lying if she told herself that she was truly happy, that she did not regret a single thing she ever did in her life. It was a huge mistake, a huge degradation but she couldn't really help herself. She was too young, too naive. Too trusting of people who she knew will eventually hurt her in the end but that's what she was made to be. The girl who makes too much drama in her life that it's already disgusting; the girl who uses lies as her shield from the world who threatens to hurt her in every way imaginable. A girl who continues to make her own magical world with sunshines and rainbows, and expecting it with all her heart that it will suddenly turn real. She wouldn’t even try to care if her little world fell apart because she’d just build another happier and more colorful one. But she’s just a girl who doesn't know what is wrong and right; a girl who can see the grays of this world but chooses to delusion herself by only seeing the blacks and whites just so she wouldn’t be hurt. And she hates that. She hates who she has become. And to make matters even more horrible, she still is that kind of person, continually growing worse each day.

“She cannot bail out. She cannot lose hope. She cannot breakdown. She cannot be hurt. She cannot be pushed around. She cannot be hated. She cannot cry. She cannot shout. She cannot be in need of help."

She and everyone else used to say. Almost like a chant, a mantra that they hoped would help her; an endless cycle of lies. She realized that those are evidently petty 'cannot's...just easily replaced with persistent 'will's.

But someday, she hopes and pleads that she’ll prove to them that she can still change and show what's real; that behind her horrible but jolly facade, there is someone, someone who just wants to see the light; someone who wants everything to finally be okay. Someone who’s willing to change; someone who would fail but still persevere to do everything right.

Because, she was a person…tired of all the moving, the constant new environments and the friends she'll never really know for years; who's sick of smiling even if she doesn't want to. She who would do anything to be happy for long and not be taken later, someone who doesn't want to be broken and hurt by her loved ones over and over again. She who was ready to work hard to feel that calmness and assurance that everything will be fine. But she is that someone, someone who just wants to be understood and heard by all.

But you know what?

That girl is me.

Maybe I'm just that miserable.

I will welcome a new year. A new chance given to change over a new leaf. Well for me, I'll just go with the flow. But anyhoo, I still can't believe it's really 2010. I mean, yesterday was just 2009 and now...well you get it, right? Nostalgia is right there in the corner, waiting to come and eat me up.

2009 was a great year, and when I mean great, I really mean it was disastrous. Cause you know, I transferred to another school, and had like so much difficulties blending in to a new environment which was, in my opinion, totally horrendous. And who could forget the death of our first ever female president, Corazon Aquino? Or how about, the tragedy that is typhoon Ondoy and Pepeng? And the Ampatuan Massacre? I think we all know that. But anyways, getting on with the story...the year, twenty o' nine, had been such a fulfilling year, though not exactly the best but still. It had some ups and full of downs and everything else in between.

The year actually changed me, matured me. Day by day, a new light shines over me and made me understand that life gets harder and my problems are not like before. 2009 made me a bit bitter but nevertheless it was just what I needed to survive the year even though I'm barely unscathed. It was life-changing, fer realz. Every day was a surprise, not usually the good surprises but rather, the worst ones but hey, life is a bitch and all we can do at the end of the day, is to just get over it and well, face the next day with a smile, fake or real, forced or not.

Although, I really have to give a hand to two persons I've met and would never ever give up even if you torture me.

First off, the love of my life, XD. You all know him by the name of, well, Paolo. :)) I pretty much knew him as my classmate's boyfriend. Oh, and I was secretly a bit jealous of her. But I had a love interest by that time and did not put much thought into it anyway. But then and there, he made the move to get to know me and that was the start of a beautiful relationship. Hell. XD Anyhoo, he became so important to me that I really don't think I'd trade him for anything in this world. I would give up all those things I value if it means having to be with him; heck, I'd even shave my head for him. I love him that freaking much.

Secondly, my freaking bestfriend, Katrina. We instantly had a connection the first time she said hi to me during our VE class. I treasure her so much that I'd rather lose my secret (and totally awesome) stash of all things cute and pretty which I really love more than my own face. XD Things are transitory but real friends are forever, right? And, I know she'd never leave me even if I turn into a killing machine or something; she'd back me up as always. She's always been true and frank with me, she'll say what she sees and thinks and I admire her for that. I love her and will always do. :)

Thanks for all who made such wonderful memories with me, thanks also for my enemies who made me stronger, emotional-wise. Free cookies to those new friends of mine, and to those strangers who offered such heart-warming smiles during my bad times. Bearhugs to my groupies, lurve them to bits, really; they make me laugh even though I'm in tears and they make each day so fun. To Vherqksxz & 7 sisters, well you guys will always be in my heart no matter what happens. Oh and BusFive pips who'd always make me laugh my ass off and that's a really extraordinary thing. Love those classmates and acquaintances of mine who never forgot to communicate with me even after all these years. Linkage Staff, (gk)2, St. Peter class, and II - C, well...hats off to you all for making my 2009 worthwhile.



Overview? 2009 = an epic fail at best however, it was truly memorable.

(This post makes me feel like I will die or something. LOOOL.)